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Cyberpunk 2077 Is Not As Bad As Everyone Says

Live-streaming the release of Cyberpunk 2077 on Xbox One X

Cyberpunk 2077 Review

I am a literal minute one player, and I already completed the main storyline, which runs about twenty-five hours. With countless hours of side quests before me, I can say I truly loved every narrative minute of the main adventure. From strip clubs to brain dances, yakuza to outlaws, races, meditation, and even a clown with a grenade for a nose, Cyberpunk kept me fully invested with a blend of comedy and smut not seen since Saints Row 2.

Cyberpunk is full of details

It plays like a sequel to Deus Ex Invisible War mixed with Sleeping Dogs. If you don’t know those references think more Fallout 3 meets GTA. This game is full of awe-inspiring futuristic details such as holographic hoodies, glow in the dark graffiti, and a background so decorated with wonderful art and architecture, nearly every frame is worthy of a screenshot. Almost every side quest feels like a whole mission. Each side quest is voice acted and occasionally even bleed back into the overarching plot.

The sounds! Oh my God, the sounds are so good!

You’ll hear leather rub together during cutscenes, chairs scoot across the floor as characters stand, and gunshots resonating from two blocks away which actually lead to bad guys. Follow the gunshots to the source and send bad guy limbs clattering to the ground for some extra street cred. Cyberpunk 2077 is packed full of memorable characters, a big fat skill tree, hundreds of dismembered gangbangers, and vehicles narrative decision making.

It is not without its faults

Cyberpunk has already received a 15.9 gig update to help mitigate bugs and crashes. Vehicle render distance is pretty bad, like 200 yards. I crashed to the Xbox Dashboard so many times I started a live Twitter count- I’m currently up to fifteen. The game’s protagonist also got himself crammed up in the cram hole and was stuck under a low hanging tv for the better part of twenty minutes.

Cyberpunk 2077 Xbox One X

I’ve had issues with quests not loading on the first try and I’ve had to frequently revert to autosaves. Also let’s not forget the time I fell straight through the ground and plummeted hundreds of stories before dying. Some of the very well documented bugs are funny, such as being catapulted hundreds of feet in the air before falling to your inevitable demise. Other bugs are more frustrating like chasing my own motorcycle down the highway as it drives into the sunset.

Character creation goes deep

I’m actually blown away that the character creation lets me add a hammer to my female character and change the size of that hammer, from tack hammer to ball-peen all the way up to sledge. Cyberpunk gave me the control to completely customize and remove my nipples or genitals, pubic hair, and breast size, but I only have three beard options and no option to change my height or weight.

I have already heard the whispers of how cool and counterculture it’s going to be to hate Cyberpunk, but I’m going to counter-counterculture and stick to my guns, or should I say Mantis Arms? Cyberpunk 2077 is the Best Role-Playing Game of a decade. With fast experience gain, skill trees with so many branches I still forget what they all do, objectives that come clearly marked on the map so you won’t wander aimlessly looking for collectibles, and hundreds of hours of extra side mission content, Cyberpunk 2077 feels like more than a video game. Cyberpunk envelopes you with Night City, a setting so much richer than the Wastelands of Fallout or the roads of Skyrim we’re used to. Cyberpunk is NOT PTSD friendly, and it’s NOT family-friendly.

Should you buy it?

For fans of Role Playing Games, yes absolutely buy Cyberpunk. Cyberpunk 2077 offers up a fresh take of RPG experience. If you want to steal a car you need the strength to commandeer the vehicle or tech skill to break in and steal a parked vehicle. You can rip gates down, disable networks, and even use your upgraded Operating System as a caster igniting nasty boys and disabling mechs as you see fit. Join me and Johnny Silverhand in Night City, where just about everything is more bad news.

Catch me streaming most nights on Twitch at 8:30pm CT until midnight. Follow me on Twitter for comedy.

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